We may have been a little sloppy about it. Usually have been giving him what he wants, choosing the road of least resistance. O, you can climb the table while we eat, it’s OK to pick food from our plates, to throw sand everywhere (but don’t throw at other people. or at least not so hard. or not all the time, Jonas, please.) and gave him pacifiers, toys, bottles and cookies, whenever he pointed at something and said EHH!
Because we are very relaxed parents, man. We don’t want to be shouting ‘NO’ and “DON’T!” all day long, or make a little Lord Fauntleroy out of him. Or do we just don’t want to be bothered too much?
Jonas hardly talks. He says Moo and Miauw and Awooo at the moon. No more. He locks his jaws, shakes his head at Cock a doodle do or even at Woof. Very rarely he says something. But when we react or cheer approvingly, he quickly stops. His body is strong and smart; it can throw, climb and jump really well. He is easily bored when he has to stay inside, but unstoppable at the beach or at any pool of water. Stones go in, sticks go in, feet go in.. He is little merman, running and rolling through sand and waves.
He watches himself endlessly in the mirror: Jonas with a hat, without a hat, front, back. Hands over his eyes and he spreads them wide: TADAA! Here I am!! It’s all about him, the prettiest, the sweetest; he is the prince, the boss. And he is.. And we treat him that way.
And now it is getting time we start teaching him some things. And we have to start somewhere.
Jonas, can you say ‘please’?
Jonas, if you want something you have to say ‘Please, mama’. Not just take it.
If you want mama to come with you, you have to ask her. ‘Please’.
Please daddy, can I have my bottle?
That’s how we are trying now, for a few days. Without any result. He knows he gets what he wants, eventually, when he gets very angry, throws himself on the floor or cries like crazy. Because mama can’t handle that. And I can’t! And I don’t want to be a terrible mother who’s all over her child all the time.
But today we are fighting the fight. And we have to win. That is good for Jonas. Everybody says so.
Drama, drama, all morning long. Crying, screaming, running. This is the day that Jonas will say ‘please’, we say. We are in charge. He has to learn! He shakes his head, he clutches his jaw. Jonas, we love you very much, but you have to learn this. No no no.
Not easy, damn it. And will it help? Is this the way? I don’t know.
And I so completely don’t feel in charge.